How to add the vibes in your bedroom for intimacy

Couples under the pandemic

Under the influence of this pandemic, many lovers ended their relationship according to some surveys. Despite the technology advancement, they choose to end the relationship to be calm, to get some more private space or even to disappear.

It reminded me of some love stories during the Cold War where lovers were separated because of the Berlin Blockade. There were no cell phones nor internet, but their love was stronger than the Berlin Wall.

 Couples under the pandemic (Photo by cottonbro from Pexels)

What men need from women?

Many of couples are fighting to keep their relationship under the no-one-can-understand pressure which is deeply touching. Sometimes, just fighting heard isn’t enough, you need to understand what men and women wants from the relationship.

Although feminism is considered to be accepted in many places with comparatively more in equality, patriarchy is still rooted in many people’s mind, both men and women.

1. Heroic Character

Here we are not referring to Alpha male or non-alpha ones. Deep in each boy’s mind when they are young, no matter they are introvert or extrovert, they want to be a hero. Ask your boyfriend about his idol. Many of their idols are heroic, strong, powerful, successful. So, you need to have them think they are your hero.

Like what we can see from movies or stories around, every hero has a weakness. They may be suffered too much from the ordinary life, ordinary work and ordinary income. They may be suffered from not being able to show their heroic side in the social life especially at work. The worst, they don’t find what they are doing is meaningful or that heroic in his sense.

Now, you need to be very careful to identify what your boyfriend is like. You need to give him no less nor more heroic feeling in front of you. Then, you need to be patient with them so that you can be their shelter as a hero usually takes in all the fears, worries and frustrations. If he would love to share with you or even just starting talking about them, you do not need to make it clear what they are talking about as they are communicating their emotions objectively and rationally most of the time. Once you start discussing with them the whole causes and results, they usually think that you do not understand him. You can simply respond them, “Babe, I can’t imagine how you can face these kinds of thing every day out there, but you know I am here to support you to do the right thing.”

Now, you are communicating your appreciation on his heroic side, your trust and respect as you are fulfilling the rational and logical part by using “face”, “support” and “do the right thing”.

 Heroic Character (Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels)

2. Freedom

Men, as we said, like to be a hero, who most of the time, feeling that they should take all the shit in themselves. They need to gather themselves by being alone, relaxed, blocking out communications, etc. Some of them choose to hang out with friends for couples of drinks, some needs to have new excitement. All in all, they need a channel to get the emotions out. For example, you can see men shouting crazily when watching a ball games. Everyone is different in some ways.

We are not saying every man is trust-worthy or you should trust him and at the end you got hurt. Nothing like this. What we are talking here, is those who are really in love and trying to get to know how you can get along better.

 Freedom (Photo by Oliver Sjöström from Pexels)

3. Sexual Arousal

Another way to prove he is a hero. Sex can be physical for sure. Yet, most of the men who are deeply in love, would like to make the sexual experience as beautiful as they can. The sexual experience here is not only referring to the “longer” time, but how much they are attracted. So you may want to study what kind of posture, role-playing, scenes, or roughness, etc. he likes.

 Temptation Neon Sign

What women need from men?

Women always appreciate loves, respect, care and communication as we all know. How many of the men can really understand what women want from the men?

1. Emotional Communication

Women are stronger than men in terms of intuition, association and sense of insecurity. These are all connected to their emotions. Some men complain that women can “imagine” something irrelevant to the situation based on some small details and things. Men just don’t understand that women got complicated feelings that cannot be well understood by men most of the time. The complication here is a mix of sense of insecurity plus their association of your past records or their friends’ experience. Men should first listen to them carefully and do not try to solve the problems. You should spend all your energy on understanding their feeling, make them feel you understand them by showing your Emotional Empathy.

The main difference between the two responses is the left one responds as how to avoid the problem next time and it is not the boss’s fault. The right one responds with care, comforting and the empathy.

 Couple Communication (Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels)

2. Romance

Romance is something full of imagination, not practical, surprise and with a correct vibe. Little gifts from time to time can bring good surprise to women. Yet, it is not always working as it is. Men should be creative enough to create special occasions. You do not need to have expensive gifts, you just need to show her you spent effort to prepare the surprise for her because you LOVE her.

 Romantic Old Couples (Photo by Vlada Karpovich from Pexels)

3. Sex

Men always think a good sex means longer duration. Rough sex can be a choice sometimes as both men and women need rough sex. Yet, women need foreplay. A good foreplay includes kisses, dirty small talks to create fantasies, touching,and even the right songs/music. Moreover, men usually think sex has finished after he’s done. ABSOULTELY NOT! After-play is also very crucial as it extends the excitement and fantasies of the women. Do not fall asleep or just put up your pants right the way. Try to chat with her and express how she makes you feel (in a good way) as well as how gorgeous you feel about her will do. Remember, an orgasm is not a necessity for a woman, but the feeling of your love, and how you plan the whole sex out.  

 Rolling Stone Neon Sign

Add Vibes to your Bedroom to give Intimacy a Boost

Prepare her favourite fragrance smell, cover the bed with colors that can stimulate her sexual excitement (Red or pink can do). Put up a LED lighting that can make the vibe.

1. Fragrance

Foreplay, cuddling, kissing, champagne, and oysters may all help prepare you for intimacy. Some essential oils have aphrodisiac properties and might get you within the mood. Research suggests several varieties of essential oils may have aphrodisiac properties when inhaled before or during intimacy. In fact, it’s known that some strong odors can trigger erections which women with a stronger sense of smell tend to possess more orgasms during sex.

For women: Clary Sage, Lavender, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang, etc.

For male: Carpolobia, Eurycoma Longifolia, Casimiroa Edulis, Fadogia Agrestis, Lepidium Meyenii, Kaempferia Parviflora, Mondia Whitei, Myristica Fragrans, Ginseng, Satureja Khuzestanica, Yohimbe, etc.

 Fragrance (Photo by Pixabay from Pexels)

2. Colors

According to a survey, People with blue rooms appear to be getting the best night's sleep, while people with caramel-colored walls are having the most sex.

 Bedroom (Photo by Terry Magallanes from Pexels)

3. LED Lighting

A LED Lighting is also a Neon Sign. If you do not plan to change the color of your bedroom, you may want to hang a Neon Sign with temptation image or texts. A Letter Neon Sign, an Anime Neon Sign or a Sexual Neon Sign can do the magic. You can also take a look at the Neon Signs for Bedroom for more ideas.

 Love Gesture Neon Sign

Finally, the Valentine’s Day is coming. This year although it is still tough for many of us, we may need to be more creative to keep the momentum of each other as a couple and of course to communicate how much you love for him and her.